How does it feel to have sex with your spouse on your wedding night when he

How does it feel to have sex with your spouse on your wedding night when he

I have found that the rosy answers about arranged marriage on Quora are very biased. The reason is very simple The kind of Indian who speaks English well enough, knows to use a computer and visits Quora is not the Indian who goes through the average arranged marriage.

Since my parents are the only ones educationally and economically well off in their huge extended family I have more than 40 first cousins, and counting, I get to see aspects of the other side of the story.

First thing, boys and girls are brought up in a way that they are always reminded of how they are different. Any sort of mingling is frowned upon. Once a girl is past the age of 1012, things get worse. Her parents wouldn even tolerate the idea that she has a male friend. She talks to boys is thought of as a character flaw. Many schools are gender segregated. In the rest of the schools, girls and boys have different rows for seating.

And many a time, the girl does not even get to finish school. One of my second cousins was married off at 17, when both of us were studying in twelfth standard. She had a baby in a year. I wouldn for a moment think that all this went the way she would have liked it.

The whole marriage process is a big joke. The boy and the girl get to see each other once before wedding, and sometimes not even that. Especially in the case of guys working abroad, this is a very possible scenario:

His family mother and sisters usually go to see the girl. They try to notice every possible physical flaw in the girl and strike her off the list if they find any. It is as bad as a cattle market, showing no respect for the girl whatsoever. My girlfriend recounts how humiliated she used to feel when the only response from the family after the visit used to be that she is too dark complexioned. Unnecessary mingling between the couple is totally discouraged. While the old heads discuss about dowry and wedding expenses, the people to get married are not even encouraged to talk in general. Once again, the girl wanting to talk too much with the guy is thought of as a character flaw.

So here we are, on the wedding night. Two people have got married, having had a chance to talk to each other just for a few minutes. Both of them have never had friends from the opposite gender, leave alone sexual partners. The girl has been brought up with the thought that sexuality is immoral and that her husband has absolute right over her, even the right to beat her. The guy has never had a chance to do anything about his sexual fantasies, and is now suddenly possessing a person who, as he has come to know, is supposed to be completely obedient to him.

How do you think it will go?

PS: This post might sound a bit ranty, but unfortunately the things are true. Just had to write about the other side of the story after seeing the anon rosy answer. First hand account of something much worse is here.